The Boulder

For decades, I struggled with a boulder that was getting in the way of my forward movement in life.  I never knew it was there. I thought that the problems that I kept facing were normal. I thought that my stagnant career and relationships were my fault. I would just have to get better. Try harder. Get more focused. Be more polite. Communicate better. Be more of a "servant leader." Over time, my efforts to get beyond the boulder (where I just knew my expansive and altruistic vision was waiting for me) only made it larger.  Since I didn't know there was a boulder, I never even thought to go around it. But it would have been no use. It would only grow, or move, to block my alternate paths, (career change? new friends? new relationships? new hobbies? new time management system?) My friends and family couldn't see the boulder, either. They wondered, maybe mockingly, why I didn't just walk around the boulder, or over it? I looked foolish. I was always supported by a fe