When X Emerged

This entry was originally published in April, 2021. 

The ethic of my youth, to respect elders, almost unconditionally, was rapidly ushered aside in the 1990s, gaining momentum as the older Boomers started retiring. My assumption had always been that I would advance into the middle years, comfortably, easily, and that my experience + emphasis on ethics and creativity, would carry me along. It is what I had always been told. By 1997, this dynamic in the workplace had all but vanished. 

The trajectory of my life (and probably most people my age) has paralleled developments in society at large. As I moved into the later middle years of my career, I had always expected to advance into positions where I could valued for my experience and creativity. I always thought an emphasis on ethics (which I had focused on in the 80s and 90s) would mean influence for me, in any good organization. You pay your dues early on. You respect your elders. And you hope that one day you will be able to settled into a position as elder, yourself.

By 1998, people ten years younger than I, were being advanced ahead of me. My unique skills and talents, which the world before me valued (ethics, creativity, team skills) were no longer valued. By 2005, the very idea of "ethics" would be mocked by society at large. "Win-win or no deal" had been tossed aside. We were rapidly thrusting ourselves into The Era of The Brutal Bare Majority. This would be a world that have no place for collaborators and active listeners like me. 

From birth to my mid-30s, I operated according to a deliberate ethic of respect for elders. If you have been around longer than I, then you have had more experience than I. Your perspective is superior to mine. You can talk about things that I cannot possibly understand, yet. Every moment of life is wrought with meaning and purpose. Every second counts. 

In all affairs with others, I would defer, as a principle, to the older person. It simplified things. It removed rivalries and disputes. And so, I would defer to public school teachers and their personal politics; Professors and their expertise; Bosses, managers. Coaches. Doctors. 

I rarely questioned their judgment. 

I was not perfectly deferential. My willful, snarky side reared its head constantly. But far too often, I found that the bosses and experts that I did push back on, in hindsight, turned out to be right. I have bosses that drove me crazy when I was under their supervision. I lost a lot of valuable time trying to defy those times that they were right. 

Don McCain, Senior Manager of the Marketing Leadership Development Center for Northern Telecom, in Nashville, Tennessee, was my direct boss from 1989-1990. I helped him put together training programs in Sales and Marketing, targeted at an employee base that was mostly engineers and technical professionals. In hindsight, it was one of my favorite jobs in my career. We all generally had fun that whole year. I remember the others on the team: Karen Wiltz, Rick Gonzalez, and Lourdes Covach. We had a lot of fun, and Don was responsible for this positive character of the team. 

For whatever reason, I did not feel, at the time, that Don was a good manager. But I was wrong. I learned a lot from him. 

My natural deference towards my seniors would manifest itself as resentment at times, even towards the good managers like Don. But that's another topic. 

After my ten years at Nortel, I was approaching the age of 40, at what I thought would be a golden age of managerial advancement for me. But, while I may have been a rarity in my elders-respecting ethic; still my generation (young Boomers) was, as a whole, generally deferential towards elders. 

Toward the end of the 90s, my experience, and expectations, took a hard right-angle turn. Gen X was coming up. They were hungry, they wanted to get ahead, and as a whole they did not care about respecting elders. They had learned, in the Post-Watergate Era, to have a level of disdain for people that assumed age was a reason to expect instant respect. They rather viewed a person's advancing age as a disadvantage.

I went through a succession of bosses that were ten years younger than I. At CampusLink Communications, and at National TechTeam, my self-esteem took a hit as I kept getting passed over for for promotions, in favor of younger people, and then as these younger people moved their own peers ahead of me. At one point I dropped an ill-advised bit of sarcasm. I was approaching my 40th birthday and told one of them "Hey in just a few months, I move into a protected category!" It was all in jest . . . but I had reached a point where I was best advised not to make jokes around my juniors. (2023 comment: cancel culture was around prior to 2020). 

Once again, society as a whole paralleled my life experience. The idea of respecting authority, always a tenuous principle in American life, was under fire. We were nearing the transition from Boomer Clinton to Boomer Bush. Our leaders lacked the gravitas we need from our leaders. They were unable to work together, to listen to and respect each other. And the generations following them were knocking at the door and were even less prone to reflection and collaboration. 

I'll share some anecdotes of my experiences with a couple of my Gen X bosses in the next few posts.