The Shun - A Brand New Post

I dislike, and disapprove of, most efforts made by people, to draw attention to themselves or garner sympathy. 

Like the basic tenet of writing, taught as early as elementary school: we must learn to show . . . don't tell. When you tell, you're communicating without imagery. You're providing information, without evidence. Mere telling is a skeleton of meaningful communication. More often than not, its major outcome is to draw attention to the teller. 

I'm a really good story-teller! (When they're not).*

So, I'm about to share something that sounds an awful lot like feeling sorry for myself. It will be hard not to portray myself as a victim here. 

But isn't that all just another way to motivate people not to come forward when then they have experienced, or observed something unethical or criminal in the workplace? Isn't it always more prudent to just let things roll off our backs and move on?

When I first began posting about my experience with the Anderson case, I got some immediate push-back from a friend, that told me it came across as me just wanting some attention. I immediately took down the entire blog. But that's not good either. It's important that the treatment of whistleblowers be dealt with, by society. We want people coming forward.

Because, otherwise, people wouldn't know. They wouldn't know that they have hurt someone. They wouldn't know that they have contributed, at the micro level, to the decaying of essential processes in our society. They wouldn't know that they had contributed, in some small part, to complexities that are at the root of so many of society's sills: divorce, career setbacks, and perhaps even the rage that results in shooters. Everything is linked. 

We are hard-wired, apparently, to discourage the correction of human wrongs. 

Don't get involved. 

Just suck it up and move on.

Don't stir things up.

So, here's a new one:

I have mentioned elsewhere, about the two very good friends, both millennials, professional women; both political liberals. One, in particular, counts as "woke." They were two of the earliest with whom I shared that I was an Anderson plaintiff. They both were instantly supportive. Marvelously so. Their encouragement helped give me a solid footing to support the effort, and even go public with my experience. 

But over time, their support dwindled. They faded into the background. One even all but announced she was done with our friendship. Let me affirm, now, that I have not overdone it, in communicating with them these past few years. In fact, I have made a point not to bother them. But in those few times that I did reach out, even just to say "hi," they have ignored me. At times, it has been critical that I get some response from friends. But they were no longer available to me. 

The same thing happened with a couple of other friends, that you would think would have been the most supportive. These people would give me advice like "Hey, yeah I want to talk to you about this. But first get some help from a therapist and then we can talk."

 . . . which felt like a brush off.

It became another reason not to come forward. It made me want to just back into the shadows again. 

But still, people need to speak up about these things. Even if your friends apparently can't handle it. Step up anyway. Speak out, anyway. We need these voices. And we need a light shined on systemic failures in society, that only make it harder for us to make real progress as a culture. 

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*I realize that succinct is preferable to  . That's a different topic.

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